Once Upon a Time
by Skybot4
Summary: Gay MW2 parody stories said like a fairy tale. Most are based off of kid stories like Little Red Riding Hood and Cinderella. Rated M just to be safe.
1. Little Allen Army Ranger

**Author's Notes: **Hi guys. C: This is the first chapter of a MW2 parody series, 'Once Upon a Time'. This one has actually been on my DA account for a long time, and I've only now brought it up here (because I'm lazy). xD The next chapter is done, but I won't upload it until tomorrow.

Basically, 'Once Upon a Time' will be gay parodies said like a fairy tale (sort of). Most will be based on kid stories. xD

**Disclaimer: **I do not own MW2, or the story of Little Red Riding Hood.

* * *

Once upon a time there was a man named Joseph Allen.

Everyone called him Allen.

Allen was given a task. He was to give a letter to Shepherd. THROUGH A FOREST.

As Allen walked through the scary forest, he noticed a man leaning against a tree.

Allen walked up to the man, "Hello, sir."

The man got off the tree and leaned toward Allen, "Why hello there, what is your name?" The man grinned evilly, Allen did not notice.

Allen smiled, "My name is Allen. What's your name, sir?"

The man's smile grew bigger, "Makarov." Allen's eyes grew big as he took a step back. Makarov laughed.

Allen turned to run but was pulled back into Makarov's arms. Allen struggled as Makarov whispered in his ear, "You cannot run." It sent a cold shiver done Allen's spine.

He screamed for help, stopped as soon as Makarov kissed his neck, and screaming was replaced with whimpers.

He kicked around to try and break free. Allen stopped when Makarov put his hands down his pants. Kicking stopped and whimpers became to moans.

Makarov rummaged around Allen's pants as he dragged him into the dark area of the forest, where they wouldn't be seen, and where they couldn't be heard.

All the while Allen buckled against Makarov's touch, he tried his hardest to not enjoy it. Next thing he knew he was pushed to the ground and pinned, he was helpless now.

Allen gave a pleading look as the drool from before ran down his cheek. Breathless and panting he said, "D-don't..."

Makarov smirked as he leaned closer, "'Don't' what, Allen?" Allen felt shivers again. Makarov kissed Allen, but Allen kept his mouth shut. Makarov growled and bit Allen's lip, Allen gasped with surprise and choked when Makarov stuck his tongue in his mouth. Allen reluctantly moaned to Makarov's pleasure.

As Makarov reached for Allen's pants, Allen could only think...

_"I'm fucked over and I hate that I like it."__  
_  
And so, Allen was raped.


	2. Roach the WAIFU

Once upon a time there was a man named Gary Sanderson, but people called him Roach because he was a hard guy to kill. Now 'Roach', was in the Task Force 141, the best handpicked soldiers on the FUCKIN' PLANET.

But Roach was the FNG. FNG is short for Fucking New Guy, just for you guys that don't know… Fuckin' newbs.

ANYWAY… Where was I again?

Oh right, right, Roach was the FNG of the Task Force 141. And when you're the NEW GUY in ANYTHING, you do most of the work.

That means he had to cook for them, clean the place, and even do the laundry! And BOY, did the Task Force have dirty laundry. Mostly Toad, yes you Toad, you and your stinky socks. DAMN, man!

Oh, and don't you be laughing Ozone, Roach told me about YOUR underwear having white stains. FUCK MAN, get a SEX LIFE, I'm gonna get my girlfriend's friends to hook up with you sometime. Maybe you'll lose that virginity of yours or _isome/i_thing… So yeah, ladies, that guy over there is free.

Yes, Ozone, I just went there. MAN UP.

Ahem, going along, Roach had to do a lot of things. Oh and by the way, he liked to wear an apron whenever he did these things, yeah. So he was like the WIFE of the Task Force, because housewives usually do these things, right? Right!

And you all know what EVERY wife has! A HUSBAND, OH YES.

OH! Did I mention that everyone in the Task Force is the husband? CAN SOMEONE SAY POLYGOMY? Or would it be an orgy… Never mind. But it's only the faggots that are the husbands, I'm straight so yeah, I ain't one of them dudes…

But since there's a ton of people in the Task Force, there are ones that really want Roach.

LIKE, LIKE, GHOST AND CAPTAIN.

Since they're in higher rank they get Roach most of the time! And every time one of them gets back to base, they take Roach to the bedroom and they'll get it ON.

Then when they're done, in the morning, if Roach woke up late, and he couldn't take a shower and get dressed..! HE WOULD HAVE TO WEAR AN APRON WITH NOTHING UNDERNEATH WHEN HE MAKES BREAKFAST FOR EVERYONE.

But anyway, back to the sex part.

So it's like, Ghost, yeah that guy sitting over there with the skull balaclava… Is he sleeping? Anyway, he just got home. He'll be like, BAM! Kicking the door down to the kitchen to see Roach in a pink apron, or some shit, I don't know, but yeah he sees him RIGHT THERE washing the dishes.

Ghost be like putting his arms around him and whispering in his voice all SEXY LIKE, or whatever you girls think, and he'll say, _"Roach, I'm home."_

And Roach is all like giggly and stuff sayin', "Oh Ghost!"

Ghost would already have his hands down Roach's pants, because DAMN, when Ghost is horny, he is iHORNY./i Ahem, so yeah, Ghost is carrying Roach to his quarters getting ready to FUCK, and Roach is all laughing and kissing Ghost's cheek or shit, fuck, I don't know. I ain't into this stuff.

But anyway Ghost THROWS Roach onto the bed, locks the door, and pounces onto Roach in SECONDS, yeah ladies, he's that fast. Hopefully you won't see him with a gun, because then you'd be dead before you KNOW IT.

… Pffft, he's STILL sleeping. Hey, turn up the mic, I'm gonna be yelling soon and I want him to wake up.

… Yeah, that's better thanks.

I forgot where I was… Oh wait! Okay, so yeah he's ON him right. So now everything is all touchy feely and stuff, it's all like WHOA.

With BEDROCK playing in the back! Ooh! Baby! I can make your bedrock! No wait! It would be UNCE UNCE BABY.

Or maybe, maybe, FACE DOWN, ASS UP, 'cause that's the way they like to FUCK! And like, Ghost wants to rock Roach's body, YEAAAAH, SON. Smacking asses!

Roach would've JIZZED IN HIS PANTS, no wait, he jizzed in his pants the moment GHOST came through the kitchen door! But anyway, JIZZ IS FLYING!

BODIES ARE SMACKING TOGETHER.

**DICKS** EVERYWHERE.

AND THERE'S TOO MANY DICKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR DAMN IT- WHOA!

_"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL, MEAT?"_

Meat stood up from his crouched position behind the stage podium, looking back at the knife stuck in the wall that Ghost threw. He grinned at Ghost, "Heeey! You woke up! Also, you have one hell of an arm!"

Ghost started marching through the auditorium to the stage, with another knife in his hand. He was furious, one could imagine steam coming out of his ears. Luckily for Meat, Roach stepped up in front of Ghost. "Whoa, Ghost, calm down. Meat was just joking," Roach said in a panicked voice.

Roach nearly screamed when Ghost grabbed his shirt and brought him close to his face, "A JOKE? This is too far from a JOKE!" The girls in the room squealed at the closeness of their faces, Ghost growled at them and turned back to Roach, "SEE WHAT I MEAN?"

"Aw c'mon, Ghost. The slip of paper Meat got said 'gay story', it isn't his fault." Roach said, sighing.

Meat yelled happily, "That's right!"

"It didn't mean you had to make one up and involve ME in it!" Ghost barked back. His eyes widened when Meat made a face at him, if it weren't for Roach holding him back he would've thrown the knife and killed him.

They were all throwing insults back and forth.

Meanwhile on another table, Royce sighed. "And here I thought this would be a nice and normal party."

"Man, if Meat is in the room it's never normal." Worm said snickering.

**THE END**

* * *

**Author's Notes: **LOL Meat is a good storyteller! So yeah, here's the next one. xD And there's some music references there, try and guess what they are. Also, the next one has Ramirez as Cinderella, and that one is going to be more than one chapter. C:


End file.
